Bad Words

We talk to ourselves constantly on a golf course, and a fair amount of it is out loud. Some of it is useful. Most of it is a habit we never chose and would not defend if someone asked us to. Here are three worth catching.

Disbelief

“Can you believe that?” Usually followed by, “these greens are so [something] today.”

Being surprised by an outcome is not a bad habit. But often players will act in disbelief, expressing shock bordering on disdain for the result, when they should have paid more attention to conditions. Take accountability for your stroke. Did you fail to consider factors like lie, rain, moisture, grain, wind? If the result wasn’t what you thought it would be, is there something for you to work on improving? Or do you just need to adjust for the rest of the round?

This habit is self-destructive because it is often a deflection–for failing to adjust to the course conditions, or for failing to work your known weaknesses. Saying something to protect your ego actually highlights that you failed to factor everything into the shot.

If you were the better player, would you have missed the factor you are in disbelief over? By dismissing it, you are closing off the need to improve a skill. Which means you are pre-biasing yourself against an accurate review of your game. Which means you are quite likely going to be expressing disbelief again.

Frustration

Go to any driving range and you are going to hear at least one person vocalizing frustration. They are reinforcing the habit of being frustrated. Does that sound like a good strategy for practicing golf? If you are embarrassed at the range–the safe space for mishits–work on separating observation from judgment. Good shots get reinforced, bad shots get analyzed objectively. Look for what went wrong and move forward.

Getting angry, or even frustrated, isn’t going to help you play better. It may seem like after a couple bad shots you get mad and then hit a perfect shot. That’s giving up and stopping the focus on the outcome. It’s not the rage unlocking a perfect swing. Expressed frustration is often an ego function; we are embarrassed that we are not playing better in front of others. Do the players you respect most throw clubs or smash lockers after a bad shot?

Even if your frustration is completely internalized and related to a goal-directed action, as opposed to an image-based one, the sooner you let it go, the less it will adversely impact your game.

Venting

“Yeah, but it’s ok to sound frustrated, I’m just venting and not actually mad.” If that were really the case, couldn’t you let it go without saying anything? Or, if you process vocally, modify the phrasing so that it is objective and not frustration fueled.

Challenge

Call out every good shot and say nothing about the bad results. Furthermore, find something good about your bad results. Was the swing smooth? Did you feel your miss? Did you stick to your pre-shot routine?

Remember, good shots don’t guarantee good results. This is golf.

Summary

It may sound like this advice is only going to help your playing partners. However, you are hearing yourself. Our brains are stupid. If they hear something, they process it. Even if it came from the same brain! Just by vocalizing a thought you are reinforcing it. Thoughts that don’t serve us shouldn’t be fed, let alone repeated often enough to become habit forming. Remember, our actions are habits and habits can be changed.

I challenge you to start catching yourself when these thoughts happen. Interrupt yourself and don’t say it out loud. Over time you will reduce the occurrences of these negative thoughts and break the counterproductive habit of negative self-talk. If nothing else, you will be better company.

And if you want to find out how much any of this actually moves the ball, go run the experiment: Eeyore Golf makes the commentary the variable.